The Start of Something New
The feeling of starting over can be daunting, overwhelming, and hard. But here is what I have come to understand: the distance between where you are and where you need to be is simply time. And the thing about time is that it waits for no one.
Whether you move or stay still, time moves. And when time moves without us, when we let it pass on the things we know we are meant to do, we are at a loss. Not a permanent one, but a real one. Because we cannot get that time back.
Can we still do the thing we were always meant to do? Absolutely. But that does not cancel out the cost of delay.
I have lived in this place. The place where I knew exactly what God was asking of me, and I stalled anyway. Not because I was genuinely seeking clarity, though that is how I dressed it up. If I am being fully honest, it was fear. Doubt that I was actually capable. The overwhelming feeling of not knowing what the first step was supposed to look like. So I waited. And I called it discernment.
But here is the grace in all of this. God is a Redeemer. Not just of souls, but of time. Joel 2:25 carries this promise directly: "I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten." If you are reading this today, feeling like you have lost too much ground to recover, that verse is for you. You have not lost. You have been delayed. And "delayed" is not the same as "disqualified".
What I want to say to you, and to myself, is this: when you feel the nudge again, do not resist it. When He tugs at your heart a second time, a third time, a fourth time, take it seriously. I know the unknown is uncomfortable. I know stepping into something new without a clear map feels risky. But you are not walking into it alone. He goes before you and walks with you, and that changes everything you are able to face.
If you feel like you have lost time, do not let that loss keep you frozen. There is still so much ahead. The choices you make today matter more than the time you lost yesterday. Do not let delay make you reckless in an attempt to catch up, and do not let it make you so cautious that you still never move. Go back to God. Ask Him for the next step. Just the next one. And when He shows it to you, take it. No matter how small it looks. No matter how uncertain it feels.
He will light your path. But you have to be willing to take the step into the light.